The Tokyo Beat Down Park Place Log II

wouldn't it be awesome if a horrible event happened?
    — kid asking to be slapped

we've confirmed two separate explosions.
    — plot-progressing officer

riots and looters and bombings, oh my!  patrol akihabara!

when life hands you a bomb, you make bombenade!
    — lewis cannon

can't i mouth off like lewis and get off the assignment?
    — rika hyodo

sorry, but justice doesn't own a white flag, baby.
    — lewis cannon

01001001 00100000 00111100 00110011 00100000 01010101
    — binary zealot

i can't answer your questions.  i have a quota to meet.  speaking of which, you want some lovely perfume?
    — vial temptress

eating food after it falls on the ground is *disgusting*.
    — lady who is sorely mistaken

i just love being myself, you know?
    — trend-follower

whatever happened to ethics and decency in this country?
    — world's-gone-downhill man

haven't you watched a cop movie before?  the hero-cop usually stares offscreen dramatically.
    — lewis cannon

The Tokyo Beat Down Park Place Log I

the crime rate's rising.
    — man providing backstory

want to know the key to covert infiltration ops?  just go in, and if anyone sees you, beat them down!
    — eiji watanabe

i think it's time for some steller police work... beast cop style!
    — lewis cannon

you need to take responsibility for your bravado.  if you say you'll beat someone down in under three minutes, you better beat them down in under three minutes!
    — eiji watanabe

big trouble in shibuya!  beat down crime and restore peace!

this place is swarming with evil-doers.  looks like i have a date... with justice!
    — lewis cannon

did you hear about the riots in akihabara?  they stole thirty-five tv sets, fourteen microwaves, twenty-one video games systems, fifty watches, and at least one giant stuffed animal!
    — woman who cares too much

i read there was a riot in akihabara!  i only read the headline, 'cause the article was *long*.
    — woman who cares only so much

he doesn't have the face of a criminal boss.  this is the face of an underling.  i can tell.
    — lewis cannon

whoa, now *that's* what a bad guy should look like.
    — lewis cannon

i'd hate to be the chalk outliner tomorrow...
    — lewis cannon

// i've made some slight changes to the wording/punctuation in spots.

Lost Screwtape Letter I

My dearest nephew,

You praise yourself for the patient's only having considered His priesthood for - and I quote - "a mere fifteen days" as if that was something of which you should be proud.  I find this news not only greatly disappointing regarding you specifically, but exceedingly worrisome concerning all the tempters of the Enemy's children.  Have you and your kin become so complacent due to our recent successes that it does not occur to you how dangerously naive such a thought is to our cause?  Granted, it is certainly true that our successes of late have been not only numerous, but, even more importantly, pervasive, but there is no time to rest on our laurels.  You are not alone in thinking that the tide has swung in our favor - a fact which is still being debated in the lowest circles - but all of us, and especially a demon such as yourself who can not claim numerous or even noteworthy successes, must keep in mind that this is a complex war, a war with billions of individual yet interconnected fronts.

As for the patient, not only did you claim a victory where you should have admitted defeat, but I have heard from a fellow tempter who works in the same circle as you that you have failed your duty in multiple ways.  Anthropos mentioned in his last communiqué that you did not even enter the confessional with your charge.  I was aghast!  That is when you need to put forth your greatest effort, not your least.  I will readily admit that I was, while certainly not pleased, not wholly displeased to read that you have been able to keep him from receiving the sacrament of reconciliation more than two or three times a year, but due to your not entering with him, he confessed sins he deliberately hadn't for many years.  As successful as you had been in that regard, it was all for naught.  None of the Enemy's children are ours until the moment of death.  You must never forget this.  He is always reaching out to them, and it is only through constant vigilance and action that we will keep this fact from becoming a realization.

Before I end this missive, I must go back to the original topic and stress my disappointment in you.  The gulf between considering the Enemy's priesthood and otherwise is wide and deep.  Immensely so, and far more than you realize if your attitude is as cavalier as you implied.  The possibility of someone becoming an active apostle of His alarms me, and should you.  Now that he has crossed that gulf, it will be an order of magnitude easier for him to cross it again in the future.  Even if he doesn't - and by Satan may he not! - the fact that he did it even once means that he is more likely to hear the Enemy's voice.  Not that even that would necessarily keep him from our grasp, but at best it would make your task more difficult, and could easily make those of your fellow tempters more difficult as well.

I realize you may think that I am criticizing you unfairly as this patient is not a trivial case, but other demons have had success with far more challenging - and influential - cases.  Like all the Enemy's children, this one is fairly predictable, but you never know when he may accept the grace that is always being offered to him, even the smallest grain of which can cause your plans to run afoul if you are not attentive.  Always strive to imitate Our Father Below, who is able to affect even those closest to the Enemy.

Your affectionate uncle

//  as far as i'm concerned, c.s.lewis is nothing short of a genius with words, and while i think i did fairly well, there's no comparison with his letters.