The Son of Schmooby Boozeday Park Place Log

i know you kids love your new-fangled energy drinks, but i'm old school, and frankly, if a vivarin washed down by a mountain dew isn't sufficient, then i don't need to be awake for whatever it is you're babbling about.


just because it's sung doesn't make it a song.
    — the legend of the guardians: the owls of ga'hoole


so you're really leaving?
    with alacrity.
what's 'alacrity'?
    a heavy heart.
        since when?
    shhhhh...


y'know, hurt is a funny thing: the same thing that makes one person angry, can put another person into grief.
    — the tale of despereaux


when are air mattress makers going to provide us a way to tell when they're properly inflated instead of merely telling us not to overinflate them?


this is an age of lazy moral relativism combined with aggressive social insolence, in which many people have been trained to distrust and reject all categorical answers, and even (i've noticed with alarm) to dispute points of actual law without having the shadow of a leg to stand on.
    — lynne truss


a vivarin at the beginning with cake and ice cream at the end.  all last days should segue straight from the caffeine buzz to the sugar rush.