Old Titleless Gunter Log XXI

oh, i'm sorry - i didn't realize it was a *capital* B...

each night i taste the silence of the words in my throat.
    — stiltskin

no matter how tired you are, i don't recommend poking yourself in the eye with a corner of your pillow to be the method you choose to wake up.

the shield of distance too often brings out the worst in us.
    — tom burke  (paraphrased)

on the whole, looking at a mirror after having fallen asleep with damp hair doesn't really do all that much to advance your self-esteem.

the real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
    — marcel proust

contrary to popular belief, you will *not* find out someone's telephone number by looking through a dictionary.
    // 08 addition:  as an aside, how many kids today have ever looked *through* a dictionary?

there is a fine line between clever and stupid.
    — spinal tap

and i'm pretty much all GLed out, so feel free to send me any suggestions concerning blitzmail.  and no, i don't know how long this hiatus will last.
    // 08 addition:  i wish i had dates on these to know how long it lasted.

Old Titleless Gunter Log XX

the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
little boy blue and the man on the moon...

who would have thought that a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?
    — homer simpson

now, i've seen some lamely-named things in my twenty-some years, but nothing quite compares to 'first creek' and 'second creek'.

after all is said and done, more is often said than done.
    — i don't know (and neither does candice)

FW: he who laughs last thinks slowest.

skepticism is the language of the mind - what does your *heart* tell you?
    — babylon 5

i understand what you're saying, but...
    ...he's not looking for *understanding*; he looking for *agreement*.

now, i know that some people like to beat a dead horse, but c'mon - i can't even tell that that *was* a horse!

btw, is there anyone out there who is willing to lend me a soldering iron?  (and some solder too - i don't have *everything* in my room.)
    // 08 addition:  since soldering isn't something i do much, i'm curious what i wanted it for.

Old Titleless Gunter Log XIX

another characteristic of human nature - perhaps the one that makes us most human - is our capacity to do the unnatural, to transcend and hence transform our own nature.
    — m. scott peck

always remember guys: They *will* test Us.  (and though it's technically possible to earn bonus points every now and again, for the most part everything's pass or fail.  feel better now?)

you didn't hear it from *me*, but exercise actually makes you feel better than caffeine.

her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like Second Tall Man.
    — russell beland

FW:  expert  n.   someone who is called in at the last moment to share the blame.

being happy is nothing more than having something to look forward to.
    — a family affair

in case you were wondering, swearing at inanimate objects you've just tripped over doesn't really make them feel all that remorseful.

so just what have those crazy scientist-type people been up to since that whole cloning thing you ask?  they have just proven - both mathematically and empirically, mind you - that it *is* in fact impossible to finish the peanut butter, bread and jelly simultaneously.

The Substance Trumps Shadow Park Place Log

it is too late to whet the sword when the trumpet sounds.
    — aesop's fable: the wild boar and the fox

what are you looking at?
    shattered remains of planets.  i'd never seen anything so terrible.
what are the lives of a billion heretics?
    most of them were fine people.
that's just the problem.  they work themselves to death just to survive from day to day.  in desperation, they put their trust in greedy leaders who wage petty wars, and the fools on each side believe that *they're* the only victims.  the pathetic creatures [are] heading farther and farther down their pathetic path.
    — project a-ko: versus - blue side

is a vixen a female fox?  /dictionary/  well look at that...

the man and the satyr
    a man and a satyr once drank together in token of a bond of alliance being formed between them.  one very cold wintry day, as they talked, the man put his fingers to his mouth and blew on them.  when the satyr asked the reason for this, he told him that he did it to warm his hands because they were so cold.  later on in the day they sat down to eat, and the food prepared was quite scalding.  the man raised one of the dishes a little towards his mouth and blew in it.  when the satyr again inquired the reason, he said that he did it to cool the meat, which was too hot.  "i can no longer consider you as a friend," said the satyr, "a fellow who with the same breath blows hot and cold."

by show of hands, has anyone ever had an *expected* surprise?

the father and his two daughters
    a man had two daughters: the one married to a gardener, and the other to a tile-maker.  after a time he went to the daughter who had married the gardener and inquired how she was and how all things went with her.  she said, "all things are prospering with me, and i have only one wish: that there may be a heavy fall of rain in order that the plants may be well watered."  not long after, he went to the daughter who had married the tile-maker and likewise inquired of her how she fared; she replied, "i want for nothing, and have only one wish: that the dry weather may continue, and the sun shine hot and bright so that the bricks might be dried."  he said to her, "if your sister wishes for rain, and you for dry weather, with which of the two am i to join my wishes?"
    every father has a favorite daughter.   you can't please everybody.

The Rice Bag Park Place Log

price chopper's pizza premio! specifically reads "keep frozen until ready to use" and "do not eat without cooking".  i'm thinking the latter one is a bit extraneous.  on a related note, how is it legal to list "spices" as one of the ingredients?

the angels have the phone box.
    — doctor who (blink)

beware the x-zylo.  more specifically, beware the person who tosses it with more force than the intervening distance safely allows.

every species can smell its own extinction.
    — in the mouth of madness

what's a hart?
    i think it's like a deer.
/looking it up/  a male deer.
    so i guess it's not so much *like* a deer as it *is* a deer.

any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    — arthur c clarke

i enjoy the peeps marshmallow chicks, but i get a little sad when i bite their heads off.
    really?  i chew them extra...

the honor of God, gentlemen, is a very good thing, and all things considered, one gains by having it on one's side.
    — becket

when i become king i'm going to replace random signs.  the first replacement will be "speed checked by gary burghoff".