The Happily Frustrated Park Place Log

if you're going to use tricky words like "schadenfreude", it's best to make sure you spell them correctly.  i can understand though, 'cause when you're typing on a forum, you don't always have a dictionary nearby...

you're a very good talker, but so was the serpent in eden.
    — the incredible hulk (sideshow)

on one hand, losing the house A/C during a heat wave just plain sucks, but on the other, it's not so different from camping during crappy weather (except that you can't forget anything and needn't be concerned about thieves).

i'm afraid there's no dessert.
    depends on what you call dessert...
    — kindred: the embraced (bad moon rising)

considering that the Brain Age Check consists of "three tests chosen at random", it's amazing how often the first of the three is the Stroop Test.  (pause)  and now that i've gotten the ball rolling...  why doesn't Head Count have ten rounds instead of splitting them up between Normal and Hard (and why is it "hard" and not "difficult"?)?  granted, five possibilities is nice and quick, but it doesn't make for much of a graph.  not that Triangle Math is much better, but at least that one spreads out the results a bit by virtue of measuring in seconds.  oh, and why doesn't Stamp Design allow me to draw in white so i can erase?  and he could've tried a bit harder with the conversational text (really? i maintained the status quo? 'cause it looked like i just got a new first place).

when i was your age, the Internet was called "books".
    — the princess bride ("updated")

i'm sorry to see you go, wile e coyote t-shirt from '96, but you're just too itchy.

The Noble Resignation Park Place Log

how come no one told me that dina meyer is in the Saw movies?  now i have a reason to watch them (beyond the fact that i'm one of about five who haven't).

my grandmother told me that we all have a black dog and a white dog inside us, and whichever one we feed the most eventually eats the other.
    — kindred: the embraced (live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse)

saying that anime is big eyes and short skirts is like saying that all boardgames are like monopoly.

you talk all the time, but you don't *say* anything.
    — doctor who (the doctor's daughter)

if you're starting a forum thread that's essentially a question, do everyone a favor and put a question mark or the word "question" in the title.

...but you don't know anything about me.
    well, i know that any self-respecting villain would've made a suspicious move by now.
    — the incredible hulk (a solitary place)

in grocery store:  i haven't had bologna in an awfully long time.
later that evening:  and now i know why...
(in all fairness, if you balance it out with the cheese, it's perfectly fine.)

The Games of the XXVIII Olympiad White Oak Log III

i just want to start this off by thanking nbc for showing handball.  in two fifteen-second clips.  which is only slightly longer than you've spent reading this so far, so now that the congratulatory part of the rant is over, i'd just like to say that you *suck*, nbc.

sucky suck suck.


nice job, acuff.  bird in the hand.  ever hear of it?  i really hope you were injured and saving yourself.

the winner of the Not Nearly As Interesting As I Was Expecting Award goes to Tae Kwon Do.  (greco-roman wrestling would have put up a good fight except for the fact that i never *expected* it to be interesting.)

see, other people realize that artistic gymnastics are inherently boring as well, otherwise they wouldn't've bothered to come up with its rhythmic cousin.

it's official: from now on, marathon runners can carry collapsible police batons.  they can't use them to hit other runners, though.  that's what the metallic arm bands are for.  what?!  they'll be wearing padding.

dear people in the stands,
    maybe you should leave the whistles at home in the future, what'd'ya think?

since team sports are here to stay, i say add Rollerball.  (pause)  the james caan Rollerball, not the new one which i never saw but am pretty sure sucked. (though not as much as nbc.)
    // 08 addition: i've since seen it, and it was passable from what i remember.

no commercials this time, but the winner of the No Commercials That Didn't Suck Award goes to mcdonald's, for not having any commercials that didn't suck.

and finally, three cheers for greece, a tiny country who put on a rather large show.  my favorite part of the opening ceremony was the procession of greek history, though the dueling drums as well as the lighting of the rings and cauldron are right up there.  and i was impressed all over again when it dawned on me during the track and field events that that was where it all took place.

The Games of the XXVIII Olympiad White Oak Log II

obviously not everyone feels that team sports don't belong in the olympics, but could we at least agree that the winners should be decided by a true round robin and not this pool/single-elimination crap?  is it too much to ask that every team play every other team and that the one with the most wins gets the gold, second-most the silver and third-most the bronze?  likewise, the eight (or whatever) fastest of all the heats should advance, not the few fastest of each heat and the next so many fastest overall.  and while i'm on a roll, how about putting an empty lane between people in the track events so that if, for example, someone stumbles on the first hurdle, she won't take out another runner?  oh, and who's the genius that decided to charge a false start to the entire field?

well, at least she didn't try very hard.

the second batch of gold-silver-bronze of interesting events on "normal" tv...
    women's soccer gold medal match**
    men's beach volleyball medal matches
    men's springboard final

** which reminds me, i still need a really good "next-generation" soccer game, though unless it allows me to assign Overact Falls to a button it won't be complete, just as beach volleyball games aren't complete unless they show players coated in sand when they come up from a dive.

where's the baton?!  (ouch. not quite so funny any more.)

excuse me, i just had to interrupt myself.
    i could write a book from the idiotic/obvious things announcers say, but this one was actually funny.  i heard it during synchronized swimming, which, as a side note, is *so* much more interesting than gymnastics.  i just wish there was a picture-in-picture underwater cam showing us how they actually do that.  speaking of gymnastics though, i still maintain that svetlana's diva-ness was good for the sport, or rather, made *for* good sport if only because it kept me interested.

somewhere in germany an engineer weeps.

water polo.  it's not unlike basketball with elements of soccer and hockey thrown in, only in six and a half feet of the wet stuff.  four seven-minute periods with a three-minute half-time.  unless you're giving me a PFD, i think i'll stick to watching it.  as an aside, the water temperature in official matches must be at least 79F - though it's probably expressed as 26C since the IOC is all weird like that - and the cage is 10' by 3').

i'm not sure what the deal is with the russians' strange stances when they start the long jump run-ups, but it's hard to argue against a sweep.

indoor volleyball spikes reach speeds of over 69mph.  i guess i can forgive them for losing their balance on a dig after all.

The Games of the XXVIII Olympiad White Oak Log I

let's just get this out of the way: team sports don't belong in the olympics.  it should be about one individual being the best.  as for relays being in the original olympics, they also used to flog people who jumped the gun, so obviously there were a few issues that needed working out.  and speaking of relays, what's with being able to swim for a medal without being part of the preliminaries?  or earning a medal even if your only part *was* the preliminaries?  isn't it bad enough that it's multiple people?  must it be turned *completely* into a team sport?

i thought you said school was out forever?
    actually, the song is called "school's out for summer".  nice try though.

dear nbc,
    would it kill you to show some of the non-traditional sports on regular tv?  i actually *like* beach volleyball, but i wouldn't at all mind if a few matches had been supplanted in favor of badminton, table tennis and the other sports which we have no idea how they play at this level of competition.

can i just borrow your network?  for a sec?
i have critical information from the home office.  and caaaandy.

pieter van den hoogenband.  it's just fun to say.  of course, you saw björk guðmundsdóttir, who was born in reykjavik.  oh, and props to inge de bruijn for having a last name no one would correctly guess how to pronounce.

that's a warp speed button and you *don't*, don't wanna touch that.

the winner of the Most Boring Event To Watch award goes to Rowing, though the swimming preliminaries as a whole were a pretty close second.  ideally the rowers would be allowed to throw (non-lethal) objects at the other boats, but underwater explosions - even if they were off the main path - would have definitely improved matters.  at the very least there could have been sharks in the water.

rock your body mind check one two
(i blame the altitude that i found it so amusing. or maybe it's the bobble-head guy.)

the first week's gold-silver-bronze of interesting events on "normal" tv...
    women's indoor volleyball (usa vs dominican republic)
    men's springboard synchronized diving
    men's individual all around
        i'm just as surprised this made the list as you are considering that the seemingly random gymnastic scores never fail to annoy me, but it helped that i studiously avoid knowing how things are going to come out ahead of time.


svetlana khorkina.  i'm going to miss her.  she just has that certain something.  maybe it's the fact that she doesn't look twelve.

// 08 addition: every other item is a commercial, and no, i don't remember them all.