Gunter Log 050597

New Extra Absorbent Gunter Log - now with Even BIGGER Thirst Pockets

what's wrong?
    nothing that a rooftop and an AK-47 can't handle...
    — the truth about cats and dogs

never trust anyone with an initial for a first name.

one word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president.  and that word is 'to be prepared'.
    — dan quayle
// 08 addition:  i find it slightly amusing that i got around to this Log not long before an election.

whenever your life could pass for a soap opera it's about time to ... um ... never mind...

it is my learned opinion that five shots of novocain is a bit much.  not only must i *think* to swallow, but it's extended up to my ear.  and drinking mt dew now takes 100% concentration.  (who's the genius that invented those wide-mouthed cans, anyway?)

the devil's in the details.
    — the vanishing

Gunter Log 300497

Lemon Fresh Gunter Log

the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
    — thomas jefferson
(if you're going to quote an ex-president to suit your ends, you could at least quote him correctly, yes?)

whenever you have to yank your alarm clock from the wall because you just can't quite figure out how to shut it off, i'd say it's about time to at least *consider* getting something vaguely resembling sleep at night.

know the joy of being worth more than you get - the pure joy of unrecognized superiority.
    — s.m. smith
(unrecognized superiority.  y'know, if i had had the inclination to come up with a personal mantra, that would've been it.)

so just how fine *is* the line between 'self-assured' and 'cocky'?
(and more to the point: do i want to know?)

according to a new study, the less a woman weighs when she is born, the lower her chance of getting breast cancer in life.  the study was performed by the Center for Stuff You Can't Do Anything About.
    — norm macdonald

feel free to condemn me, but you haven't truly lived until you've seen little kids with heads as big as their bodies slug it out.  (SEGA!)

and i imagine that i might very well be the last person to realize this, but having a partially-numb lip sucks.

Gunter Log 280497

Gunter Log - now in a convenient 3-day formula

you *hate* people!
    but i love gatherings.  isn't it ironic?
    — clerks

why must people use 's in completely inappropriate places (CD's, TV's etc)?  are these things suddenly owning something just because you happen to be referring to more than one?  (and no smart-<BEEP> replies from the peanut gallery, thank you very much.)

if you take the time to carefully read the outside of an ice cream container you will notice that nowhere on it does it say (it doesn't 'say'; it *reads* [malice]) anything similar to 'for best results, thaw and refreeze'.

i don't *think* so, ~sega boy~.
    — mallrats
(the ~s indicate derision. which, btw, is a very fun word to say out loud.)

and i may have mentioned this already, but staring directly into a 150w bulb really isn't one of the better ways of starting your day.

before i go, a few of the many knocks:

    the 'shave and a haircut' knock
        also referred to as the 'i am a big dork' knock

    the 'your hair had better be on fire' knock

    the 'was that a knock?' knock
        also referred to as the E-knock

and now it's time for me to contemplate why my project probably won't be done on time.  Cya.

The Fierce Precision Park Place Log

[t]he fact that the airplane is faster than the horse does not necessarily prove that the world is getting any better.
    — the snows of kilimanjaro

do you think knew that that word already had a use?

what counts in life is not the victory, but the struggle; the essential thing is not to conquer, but to fight well.
    — pierre de coubertin

am i the only one who didn't know that silent movies weren't actually watched in silence?  i feel so very misinformed.

you don't have to put an age limit on your dreams.
    — dara torres

it's best to make your cold tea a little strong.  if you're sober you stick a few ice cubes in it when coldness matters, and if you've just come back from a company picnic where you've had a few, it'll still taste like tea.

the most deadly poison of our times is indifference.
    — saint maximillian kolbe

three years and three days later, with three more on the way (though it's going to be a shotgun blast for locations).