The Petrified Lightning Park Place Log

trust doesn't mean a whole lot without honesty.
    — gargoyles (her brother's keeper)

when it comes to plopping them on the tray, there's a fine line between "as large as possible" and "giant sheet pan cookie".

[i]t's when you run away you're most likely to stumble.
    — the snows of kilimanjaro

push until alarm sounds; door can be opened in 15 seconds.
even ignoring the lawsuit waiting to happen, how is that a good idea?

life often turns upon such small things as a flickering old lamp.
    — the arabian nights (lang)

instead of informing me that i can't use the flash in burst mode, how about camera makers design firmware that assumes i know what i'm doing and have what i'm setting *right now* override what i set *before*?

some people have so little consideration for others, which makes life so much more difficult than it needs to be.
    — the lady vanishes

The Penultimate Zero Eight Park Place Log

unfortunately for my brother, it seems to be a law that oatmeal cookies contain raisins.  as an aside (and only tangentially related), do people really not realize that "dried plums" are prunes?

there's the difference between us, carmen.  you spend so much time with your precious little plans, trying to make tidy entrances and exits that you forget why we're *really* thieves in the first place: to take... what others... have!  period.  end of career description.
    wrong!  i do it for the mental gymnastics.  the challenge of-
oh spare me the twisted philosophies, carmen.  you've got a serious problem, you know that?  and the sooner you realize you're no better than anyone else who steals - for fun or profit - the better off we'll *all* be.
    — where on earth is carmen sandiego? (maelstrom's revenge)

just a little monday humor
8 Dec 97

maybe it was the heady feeling of having successfully tied a tie, maybe it was having heard the line 'something men have to worry about in blues' as a clue of sorts for the word 'stiff', or maybe it was a combination of these and a myriad of other things which had happened to me that evening, but i thought that this was oh so amusing when i came up with it saturday night...

i looked up to God, and asked, "God" - i can do that since we're on a first-name basis and all - "why am i so much cooler than everyone around me?", and He looked down at me, smiling benignly - because that's what he does, more often than not, you know: smile benignly - and said, "son, if i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times: the word you're looking for is 'pretentious'".

too long to be part of a GL
27 April 98

until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.  concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.  all sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  a whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
    — w.h. murray  (you know, the scottish himalayan expedition one.)

The Great Snow of '08 Park Place Log

i wasn't going to comment on this since everyone else was doing so well, but if every person in that mob shows half that initiative helping their fellow man, the human race might come out ahead.  as an aside, instead of forcing wal-mart employees to watch a what-to-do video we should be forcing all the geniuses and their peers to watch a what-not-to-do one.

i wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me.  or am i even in its mind at all?
    — styx

Top Five Decisions I've Just Made Concerning My Movie
(17 June 98)

  5.   not a single telephone number will begin with '555'.

  4.   all props will be stored in a safe between shoots.

  3.   i will watch it before i release it to the public.

  2.   the bad guy will kick serious <BEEP>.  (and he will have neither a perm nor a single shock of hair with the rest of his head being covered by this idiot plastic dishbowl thing.)

And the Number One Decision I've Made Concerning My Movie...

   the obligatory halter-top-and-shorts-clad-chick-carrying-a-big-weapon-backlit-by-massive-explosions shot shall remain untouched.  whether or not this shot has the slightest bearing on the plot is completely irrelevant.

Five More Decisions I've Just Made Concerning My Movie
(24 June 98)

  5.   the obligatory chase / cat-n-mouse scene will take place during an E3.

  4.   the story-boarders *will* look at a map to keep track of that whole distance vs time thing.

  3.   i will make a cameo appearance and shout SEGA! for no discernible reason.

  2.   two words: subliminal messages

And the Number One Decision I Just Made...

   the trailer will not give away the plot.  in fact, i'm pretty sure that it'll consist solely of the halter-top-and-shorts-clad-chick-carrying-a-big-weapon-backlit-by-massive-explosions scene shown from multiple angles, MTV-style.

The US Patroness Park Place Log

once again i'm surprised that this isn't common knowledge for northern folk: when it comes to snow drifts, momentum - not finesse - is your best friend.

can you never rise above trivialities?
    can't rise above anything more than three syllables, my dear; never could.
    — the scarlet pimpernel

the CBS show numb3rs?  not only is the name too tricky for its own good, but it may have the highest level of nonsense of any show currently on the air. (boobah is still the most painful show i've ever seen, though.)

i've never seen an insectiverous plant before.  what is it called?
    venus flytrap.  a devouring organism.  aptly named for the goddess of love.
    — suddenly, last summer

we really need to stop putting more and more photosites on small camera sensors.  granted, i like higher numbers as much as the next guy, but it's the quality of the pixels that matter.  the difference between a prosumer's 3MP and a compact's 8MP is not as obvious as the numbers would suggest.

you can't get lucky all the time.
    you can be smart every day though.
    — 16 blocks

butterfinger crisp, baby.  the original butterfinger fun size bars are top notch too, but the full size version is a bit too messy for me.  almond joy is right up there as well, but it really needs twice as many almonds.

Gunter Log 181198

A Score and Four of the Shortest Books I've Ever Written Gunter Log

capitalization: a primer

using words in a manner consistent with your audience

the base barber and you: looking your best

how to exercise for more than a week and a half at a time

the layman's guide to particle physics

sodas other than mountain dew

how not to be a sarcastic b@$+@rd

setting reasonable standards

point of sale: buying in moderation

getting along with people older than you

learn to chauffeur in under a week

spartan living

keeping excessive bass from upsetting the person who lives behind you

raving 101

the long term benefits of credit cards

college and you: a practical guide

the complete honor guard experience

babes i can't seem to get along with

modesty - it's not just for everyone else

keeping your laughter in check

the many uses of RE:ALLs

an etymological study of last names

my place in the *real* world

blitzmail: a study in futility