Gunter Log 140597

Caffeine Free Diet Pointless Gunter Log

there is no gravity; the earth sucks.
    — mystic water (via beth candy)

we need a new search engine for the global list, 'cause 'liz', 'mis' and 'spudhead' should be *more* than enough information to find who i'm looking for.

while looking at the ingredients of my 'cool from nestea natural lemon flavored iced tea sweetened', i noticed that it includes 'concentrated tea from tea leaves'.  (it's a joke grenade; just give it a little time.)

four little E.C.s, happy as can be -
one goes too far, and now there are three.
// 08 addition:  this is another of those items that no longer mean anything to me, but i'm sure were rather clever at the time.

BIIIIIG sack by manumana the slender, who does his "i'm gonna go get me some poi" sack-celebration dance.
    — necessary roughness

never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear.  it annoys them very much.
    — g.k. chesterton

The Situational Morality Park Place Log

135,591 in Planet Puzzle League for DS.  another reason why my mom is cooler than your mom.  (she also likes Dark City.)

i'm going deaf with alliteration.
    — my dad

i look forward to the day that things happen to Madonna and no one really cares.  to quote myself (though regarding someone else), "you're no Cher."

it's like it was fried and then soaked in disgusting.
    — mark schmalley

i want to vote for t. boone pickens if only because his commercials don't annoy me.

this must be what sadness tastes like.
    — ryan fitzpartick  (not *that* ryan fitzpatrick)

i really don't think it'd be amiss that a law be passed mandating that smokers spray febreze on their clothes before they mix with non-smokers.

The Columbus Day Park Place Log

when you record your phone message, don't say "you reached (your name)", because obviously i haven't.

even if we invent a vehicle that runs on nothing but good intentions and emits only good will, our species will probably find some stupid way to waste somewhere else...
    — valkraider

it seems to be becoming an epidemic: it's "historic", not "historical".

boy, you're just all kinds of clever, aren't you?
    i don't know about *all* kinds, but i'd say i'm a rather large handful of clever, yes.
    — yours truly  (i know: it's been a while.)

the apple pear.  also called the chinese pear.  or papple.  start with a nice-sized, juicy apple and replace all the flavor with that of a pear.  no, really: it's the taste of a pear with the texture and shelf life of an apple.  God bless science's ability to tinker with nature.

[n]oble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy.
    — the chronicles of narnia: the last battle

over the years i've come up with a fair handful of questions ranging all over the spectrum, from the banal (do you realize how extensive the cascade affect will be once researchers finally admit that caffeine is good for us?) to the thought-provoking (why doesn't God let Cthulu eat the people i find annoying?), but here's one from my mom: what would you do if you cut open a cantaloupe and discovered a mouse inside?

Gunter Log 120597

Gunter Log XXX    (that's extra dry, you silly person)

whenever you need to actually expend energy to open a pop-top you might as well quit pretending that you're on the mend.

another of the many signs that you need some professional help:  you send yourself a piece of mail because you figure that the LAN *must* be down, as only that would explain your not having received any in 'so long'.

for those of you who were into calculators:  710.77345

granted, it's not as good as watching little kids kick each other's butt (as if anything could be), but blowing up friends' rambo-armed worms runs a not-too-distant second.

i don't need beer - i'm *naturally* out of shape.

mormons:  lots of babes
catholicism:  heaven
    (pout)  why is nothing ever easy?   <SLAP>

all these years i just assumed that being Nice was synonymous with being Good.  how wrong i was...

oh, and if anyone dies this week, Lord, please may the whole thing take exactly twelve hours.
// 08 addition:  i'm pretty sure this is an honor guard reference, but i don't remember what i was hoping to avoid.