The Columbus Day Park Place Log

when you record your phone message, don't say "you reached (your name)", because obviously i haven't.

even if we invent a vehicle that runs on nothing but good intentions and emits only good will, our species will probably find some stupid way to waste somewhere else...
    — valkraider

it seems to be becoming an epidemic: it's "historic", not "historical".

boy, you're just all kinds of clever, aren't you?
    i don't know about *all* kinds, but i'd say i'm a rather large handful of clever, yes.
    — yours truly  (i know: it's been a while.)

the apple pear.  also called the chinese pear.  or papple.  start with a nice-sized, juicy apple and replace all the flavor with that of a pear.  no, really: it's the taste of a pear with the texture and shelf life of an apple.  God bless science's ability to tinker with nature.

[n]oble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy.
    — the chronicles of narnia: the last battle

over the years i've come up with a fair handful of questions ranging all over the spectrum, from the banal (do you realize how extensive the cascade affect will be once researchers finally admit that caffeine is good for us?) to the thought-provoking (why doesn't God let Cthulu eat the people i find annoying?), but here's one from my mom: what would you do if you cut open a cantaloupe and discovered a mouse inside?

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