The Letters to Nowhere Park Place Log

dear airline industry,
    where are the interactive windows that'll display the names of cities and rivers as we pass by them?  oh, don't act so shocked.  you can't honestly tell me that you assumed that we were going to walk across your crappy floor in our socks and let you steal our bottles of water without your giving us something in return.  that's just not realistic.


dear AM2,
    either you make sure Virtua Cop 3 comes home or i shoot you with a bright orange bullet from my bright orange Saturn gun.  your choice.


dear cell phone tower tree makers,
    you aren't fooling anyone.


dear Codemasters,
    remember the Genny MicroMachines?  still the best version.  how about a proper sequel?


dear halle,
    you suck as Storm and you suck as Catwoman.  since Ghost and Warrior Nun Ariela *don't*, please stay away from them.


dear kenji eno,
    please don't be teasing us with From Yellow to Orange being listed as a Wii developer.


dear maria,
    yeah, five octaves, we got it.  i can burp on command, but that doesn't make it a good idea.


dear whitney,
     just so you're not confused, you were never all that.  to quote myself, "you're no Cher."



// 08 addition:  these letters span a bunch of years (though not so many that you can't comfortably shake a stick at them), but a couple are recent, so while i debated which log series this should fall in, i ended up choosing the current one, but with an addition like the old ones.